Big Oil: Quit Copying Each Other's Home Work

Hey!


BP!  ConocoPhillips!  ExxonMobile!  Shell!  Chevron!


Listen up . . . I know plagiarism when I see it . . . I'm an English teacher, but you're not fooling anyone else either.


But look on the bright side, BIG OIL.  At least you're all on the same page with this one.


You're so damned arrogant that you all used the same exact document.  Bet the rest of you were relieved when BP got caught first.  


On the other hand, not only do you now all look stupid for carbon copying, but your behavior also demonstrates the contempt you have for our intelligence.


Like no one would ever really read your disaster plans?  Let alone compare them. OOPS.


Advice for next time.


--Check to make sure that the experts you list aren't dead.


--At least do what all 8th graders do when plagiarizing:


Switch some words or phrases around


Use a thesaurus.  No.  It's not a species of dinosaur.  It's a book (also on line). In it you can find different words to use other than the ones in the document you're stealing from.  Can you say synonym?  Good.  


Words are your friends.  


No, that can't be right because you guys have no friends.


HINT:  look up your new words in the dictionary (another book) to avoid making yourselves look stupid.


O, but wait, you're already looking pretty stupid to the rest of us.


--Check your facts.


Remember when you said you'd be sure to keep the well being of walruses in mind when handling a disaster?


In the case of this BP thing, it would have been prudent to see if walruses generally hang out in the Gulf of Mexico.


They don't.  


But I understand.  It was a simple mix-up.  You just mistook the Gulf of Mexico for Prince William Sound . . . in Alaska.  You know, that place where Sarah Palin says she can see Russia from?  That place.


But you protest:  "Advice is cheap!"


That being the case, BP, why didn't you take some of your multibillion dollar profits and buy a bunch before you drilled that hole in Gulf's floor?