JOE BARTON WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO . . . Benedict Arnold. You had to go with the money, I feel you.
Joe, I hope you have an aloe vera plant or several dozen . . . you're gonna need them 'cause you're really getting blistered in the media.
Joe, I hope you have an aloe vera plant or several dozen . . . you're gonna need them 'cause you're really getting blistered in the media.
O, and you might want to consider that BP probably won't be making you those big payouts like before the "spill."
What do you mean, that hadn't occurred to you?
Come on, Joe.
Wake up and smell the crude.
BP won't be paying dividends to their stockholders till 2011 . . . they've just voluntarily put billions into that slush fund you alluded to in your ill-fated comments. They just got shakendown, remember?
Where do you think they're going to find the bucks to give to you?
WAIT! You say they paid you off in BP stock? Seriously??
Buwahahahahahaha!
Well, you know what that's worth now? 50% LESS than 60 days ago!!! On second thought, maybe they will be sending you a fat wad of worthless stock certificates.
That's got to be it . . . their special way of expressing their appreciation for your making an ass of yourself, and thus of them, in front of THE ENTIRE VIEWING, READING, LISTENING AND OTHERWISE SENTIENT WORLD, including all those beleaguered walruses paddling around out there in the Gulf of Mexico.
I'm sorry, Joe. But you're such an easy target.
What's that?
You'd like to apologize to God, for killing off his noble bacteria with the scourge of antibiotics? Talk about owning your stuff, Joe.
For those of you wicked souls interested in reading more of Oil Slick Joe's apologies, visit Joe Barton Would Like to Apologize to
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